“Cuts You Up” Rockaway beach- 5/12/15 An essay by Haleh.tv In posting this “bikini” pic in the here and now, I reveal my truth, boost my esteem, morale and congratulate my body on carrying me through the most challenging time of my life, anyone else may have crumbled: I always resisted posting these kind of images because of the following: 1)opening yourself up to all sorts of speculation and energies 2)how does it really serve others? 3)Does it reflect my brand values (Sometimes it can, other times no. In this case it’s a fuck yes) A couple of days ago I allowed someone to penetrate my usually Teflon protected perception of my body. Let me preface by saying I never had any sort of body image anything. My whole life I’ve been thin, eaten properly for the most part, and been a beast at the gym. In my spirit I am a warrior and an athlete. And have pushed my body to its absolute limit to the point that it let me know that it was not having it anymore. Crazy things like tolerating the level of pain where I was boxing on a broken rib like a maniac and not even realizing it. And as long as I could control it. It was all good. Then the Universe brought me a huge lesson. Could I love myself through not being able to maintain my Virgo perfectionism? And can I let go of the notion that we are our bodies? This shit is a mindtrip. Especially as a woman. In feeling vulnerable, I allowed someone affiliated with the fucked up modeling industry to skew my perception of myself to the point of being one step away from an eating disorder. It hurt so deep. Body image is a hot topic now, and it’s reception in magazines is beyond antiquated. They use language like “fuck the thigh gap” in their social media because it’s a trend, and then use bad photoshopping and “what to wear according to your age” old paradigm bullshit in their editorials. What I want to make clear is these are our bodies, it’s not a joke. It’s your health. And harming it can catch up with you. So here I am. My body stands strong. Perfectly protected. Any perceptions , energies that are not aligned with God bounce off of me, transmuted into pure love.